Messages in a Bottle

If you find this, don’t tell my wife…


The harpies are after me, but these sirens are worth it


Don’t tell the crew, but I buried the treasure on —


Word of advice–never cross the Captain’s wife


If you find this, it was a bet — did I win?


Everyone fears the pirate — fear the women more!


Don’t fall asleep on the dock


24-16-9


Reception out here is horrible…who won the world series?


Got you all excited about a message in a bottle!

 

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It’s For You

Alice loved the holidays. The bright colors reflecting off winter snow and cheerful music everywhere she went. She began decorating her home as soon as the Thanksgiving dished were dried and put away. Nothing was going to damper her love of the holidays. Christmas Eve came and Alice’s family joined her for an old-fashioned family Christmas.

“Mom! Dad!” Alice shouted as they pulled in the driveway. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, dear,” her father said.

“It’s a blessing to have another Christmas with family,” her mother added.

They put their presents under her tree and began enjoying eggnog when there was a knock at the door.

“Oh my gosh!” Alice screamed after opening the door. “Danny!”

Her parents looked at each confused. How could Danny be here?

“Good to see you, son,” their father said as he shook Danny’s hand.

“Ah, thank’s pop.” Danny grinned. “Here sis, this is for you.”

“Thanks!” She put the present under the tree and handed him a glass.

Later that evening, after dinner, the family gathered in the living room to open their presents.

“How’d you get out?” their father whispered to Danny as they sat on the couch.

Danny laughed and touched the side of his nose. Their father shook his head and moved next to his wife on the love seat.

“Open mine first, sis.”

“Okay.”

Alice picked up the box, rattled it, and carefully removed the brown paper wrapping. Inside was a plain white paper box. She giggled with anticipation.

She opened the lid and fainted while her parents screamed and Danny sat laughing on the couch.

“Merry Christmas, sis!”

 

Inside The Egg

“Life before modern medicine was extremely difficult,” Dr. Swan said.

“Oh, I have heard horror stories that were passed down through my family,” Jenny said, nodding her head. “I just don’t know how they managed back then.”

Dr. Swan chuckled. “True. I have quite a few stories in my family as well. We are ashamed but have to accept the fact that times were different then.”

Jenny nodded and smiled. “We even have a writer in our family tree. Shameful!”

“Well, no need to worry about things like that anymore.” Dr. Swan and Jenny laughed as the doctor pulled out the necessary forms.

“Now, Jenny,” he began,” let’s go over your options.”

An hour later, Dr. Swan scanned Jenny’s responses into the computer that printed out a compiled requisition order.

“Quick verification,” Dr. Swan said. “Don’t want any mistakes…do we?”

Both sat at the desk and laughed.

“Pure blond hair – female – 5’9” – 140 lbs – fit but not muscular – medium to high pitched voice – dainty laugh – perfect teeth, skin, hair, and lips – moderate chest size – intelligent but not inquisitive – proud but humble – compliant – driven but satisfied with position – values pleasing others above self – unquestioning – devoted – religious and family values – positive – nonconfrontational – unimaginative – follower – high drive to be a mother.”

Jenny’s face sparkled with each option. “Yes, yes, that’s just what I want.”

“Okay, Jenny,” Dr. Swan said. “I’ll put in the order form and see if we have any ready to hatch. If not, it will take a few years to develop.”

“I don’t mind waiting. I just want to be a mother.”

Dr. Swan laughed as he showed Jenny to the door. His nurse came in to collect the order.

“I will never understand why our ancestors resisted adopting the genetic selection process,” his nurse said, looking over the order form.

Dr. Swan nodded in agreement. “I guess they liked raising them from infants and taking their chances.”

“That’s crazy! I can’t imagine living in a world like that. No wonder they had so many problems.”

“Yes, they did, but that’s why the American Purification Act of 2019 was so easy to pass. That paved the way to creating the perfect America that we have today.”

“Thank heavens for that!”

“You said it.”

Personal Chef

“But, Death,” Gracie argued with such voracity. “I swear I didn’t know!”

Death stared at Gracie. Was it possible she didn’t know? How could she not, though? The idea that a professionally trained chef and mermaid did not know that puffer fish were deadly was simply preposterous. Still, he thought, she did deliver over one hundred new souls and that was no dalliance.

“Fine,” Death said. “You can be my personal chef. It’s not like you can kill me.”


This microfiction story was inspired by:
Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Day — voracity
Fandango’s One Word Challenge — preposterous
Three Things Challenge prompt — puffer fish, staring, soul
Word of the Day Challenge — dalliance