You Were Saying

Set milk on counter.

Open freezer door and grab the chocolate ice cream.

Set top on counter and pick up container from the floor.

Open drawer and take out spoon.

Throw away broken spoon and get larger one.

Throw away bent spoon.

Grab knife and carve ice cream from carton.

Punch holes in carton trying to get ice cream out.

Fill up milkshake cup with ice cream chunks.

Pick up chunk off counter and toss it in the cup.

Wipe hands on pants.

Lift milk carton and begin pouring into cup over ice cream chunks.

Jump back, set milk down, pick up spilled cup, and grab roll of paper towels.

Clean up mess and try again.

Get new roll of paper towels. Pin cup in top drawer.

Finally get milk in cup.

Put cup in maker and turn on machine.

Jump back. Turn off machine. Grab paper towels and wipe off shirt.

Take off shirt for easier clean up.

Turn on machine and take chocolate misting shower.

Two glasses from cabinet on counter.

Begin pouring into first cup.

Pick up first cup and spoon shake chunks back into cup.

Wedge cup 1 into drawer and pour milkshake in.

Wedge cup 2 into drawer and pour milkshake in.

Set down milkshake cup on counter.

Look at leftover milkshake flow from slippery milkshake cup.

Spoons in cups and cups to laughing children.

Return to kitchen.

Hear wife returning from grocery store.

Try to decide to blame the kids or not.

“Good heavens! What happened in here Jeff?”

Could he do it? Would she believe it?

“What? Just made the kids milkshakes.”

Blanche stood in the doorway laughing at the state of her husband and kitchen.

“Only you could make this much mess for such a simple task,” she said in between laughs.

Warning sounds of ripping paper were downed out by her laughter until it was too late.

A dozen eggs, grape jelly, and mayo lay splattered at her feet.

Jeff laughed. “You were saying?”

 

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What Was Inside?

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Photo by MabelAmber at Pixabay.com

“Mama, I found an egg,” Julie squealed. “What kind of bird is it?”

Her mother looked at the egg and surrounding grass for hints. In the tall grass, she found the dead bird covered in ants.

“Oh my,” her mother said, hugging Julie. “You found a magic fairy egg!”

Julie’s eyes lit up.


This 279-character story was written for Twittering Tales #89

La Casa Del Diablo

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Photo Credit: Susan Spaulding

Everyone in town avoided the little cafe on the edge of the town, and for good reason. Many remember when the Army found all those bodies after the mayor ordered the arrest and execution of Senor Diablo and his men. They caused havoc in the region with their nighttime raids that struck fear into everyone’s heart.

Fifty years had not silenced the stories from survivors. After the foreigners opened a cafe in Senor Diablo’s old barn, talk of sightings started again. First it was shadows slithering between the tumbleweeds and cactus, but then the kids went missing last month. It was happening all over again. Townsfolk were not going to allow it to happen.

Late last night, under the full moon, the town grabbed torches, crucifixes, and family bibles, and headed to the cafe. The cafe was full of customers who only walked in the shadows. Padre Garcia called on Michael’s guidance and blessed the townsfolk as they stormed the cafe.

By morning only a burnt shell remained. The town decided this would never happen again. They blew up the mine under the cafe and blessed the rubble. Today, the ground is black and serves as a warning to all.


This 200-word story was written for Sunday Photo Fictioner

 

We’re Only Human

Grandpa had a thing for Mae West. He knew he would never have a chance with her, but it didn’t stop him from dreaming. On November 22, 1980, he sat on his couch and wept like a baby as the report of her death hit the news.

“Oh, grow up, you dirty old man,” Grandma said, slapping him with the TV Guide, ripping the cover. “Now look what you made me do!”

Grandpa wiped his tears and went into the basement. His retreat away from life and away from his wife of nearly fifty years. “All you do is badger me, you old bat,” he muttered under his breath at the bottom of the basement stairs.

“I heard that!” Grandma hollered from the living room.

“That woman’s ears.” Grandpa shook his head as he pulled out a pristine copy of Number 7 and reread the interview with Mae West.

Grandpa fell in love with Mae West after she appeared in Klondike Annie. That’s what made him want to move to Alaska, but the further he ever got to the western frontier was St. Louis. He stayed in his basement until he heard the bedroom door slam. It was safe to return upstairs.

On December 8, 1980, Grandma had an epiphany as she sat clutching her Beatles pillow and screaming into it as the news reported the death of John Lennon. Grandpa sat on the couch next to her comforting her. “You’re only human,” Grandpa said.


This was inspired by:
Three Things Challenge prompts — Mae West, western, badger
Swimmers prompt — human
Word of the Day Challenge prompt — epiphany