I come from a long line of snake oil salesmen. At least that’s what I’ve always been told. I have been pretty good in any sales job I’ve had, but I just don’t know if this one is going to work for me. Although it does have its perks. I get to see all the rock concerts, stage shows, and circus acts that come through town for free. Oh sure, I have to walk up and down all the stairs selling show crap or food that becomes crap, but I also get to help out back stage. Which means I get to add to my collection every night I work. Why just last night, KISS appeared with Def Leppard opening for them. I was able to add so much to my collection that I felt drunk when I got home.
I tucked in my Brooks Brothers shirt and check out my stubble in the mirror. Julie likes a little five o’clock shadow, or scruff, as she likes to call it, and I am more than happy to oblige. Now to seal the deal. I open my great-great-grandfather’s snake oil cabinet and admire my collection. Tonight, calls for the star of my collection. It was the first bottle I ever collected. I remember it like it was yesterday. Market Square Arena. June 26, 1977. The King was giving his final concert and I was lucky enough to be back stage as a stagehand for the arena. Ah, that voice! Those moves! That sweat! Yes, Julie deserved to be with the King tonight. I uncorked his bottle and splashed a little of King’s sweat on my face. Nothing but the best from my collection for Julie.
This piece was inspired by the Collector Challenge # 29 – Rock Star Sweat