The Banquet

Mr. Peacock walked through the banquet room with the Hotel Cortez head chef, Jeffery, to ensure that everything was perfect. They needed tonight to be the best experience the hotel could offer if they were to attract the ILM back to their hotel next year.

“I’m telling you, we have everything under control,” Jeffery said. He watched Mr. Peacock fumble with his clipboard and guest list.

“I just don’t see how you –”

“Geeze man, take a breath. I told you, I’m used to this sort of thing. I’ve got it all handled.”

“But, but…HOW! Look at these guests! You can’t –”

Jeffery sighed and grabbed the clipboard away from Mr. Peacock. “Follow me.”

They walked across the banquet room to a large tank filled with salt water. “Jaws. Two buckets chum and a few innards left over from preparation. Since he’s the only aquatic guest tonight, we’ve put the two animal tables near him. Since they don’t speak human, maybe they speak shark.”

Mr. Peacock nodded. That made since to him. “But what about meals for those tables? Do we have –”

“Good grief, you think I can’t make a menu?” Jeffery sighed. It was going to be a long night. “Table one will host the giant ants, Sasquatch, the Blob, and the Hobgoblin. Their meals will be sweetbreads, wine, sugar donut holes with gold trim, and assorted eggs. Table two will host all the critters and gremlins. Since they choose to act like children, I created a children’s menu of chicken and human fingers with several dipping sauces to choose from, blood pudding, and blood orange smoothies. We will use the window washer’s platform to hoist fruits up to King Kong on the roof.”

Mr. Peacock nodded and started looking more relived. This was the biggest night in his managerial career. Everything had to be perfect. “What about the next two tables?”

“Well, let’s go back across the room to tables three and four first, then I will tell you all about the long table of honor.”

Thirty minutes before the guests arrived and Mr. Peacock was getting more nervous. This final walk through was taking much longer than he expected.

“This is our, um, less popular table, if you will. I received many requests from people who did not want to end up next to anyone at this table, so we just threw them all together here and hope that will make everyone else happy. So, you have Regan, Ghostface, Pumpkinhead, and the self-declared cannibal who requested his meat medium-well. You will note that the wall behind the table has been prepped for Regan, should she wish to spray vomit all over the place like she did at last year’s convention.”

Mr. Peacock’s face went green just thinking about that. “What about their meal though?”

Again? Fine. “This table will be served steak and eggs, caviar, and devil’s food cake. They have a choice of a wide variety of smoothies or fruit juice, to which we can add any flavor they like.”

Mr. Peacock seemed pleased with this table’s selections and moved toward the next table.

“At table four, we Dr. Jekyll, Zombie, Werewolf, and Leatherface. Now at this table we are serving steak two-ways, hot and cold soup, sweet and sour pork, and iced coffee. Moving on.”

He wasn’t going to allow Mr. Peacock to drag this out any longer than necessary. Besides, time was running short and he still had to prepare the main course.

“The head table will seat Count Dracula, Warlock, Frankenstein, and Dr. Lecter. Frank informed us he no longer eats, nor does the ghost, so they will be playing cards down at that end. The Grim Reaper and the Warlock have brought in their own chef and will be served at that end of the table. Count Dracula and Dr. Lecter will share the head of the table this year. I am sure everyone will be pleased with my service.”

“Good, good,” Mr. Peacock muttered, taking his clipboard back from the chef. Guests started shuffling in and panic rose from Mr. Peacock as he realized Jeffery never told him what the menu was for the guests of honor. “What about –”

Mr. Peacock dropped dead on the floor as the Grim Reaper touched his shoulder. Jeffery smiled and nodded to Count Dracula. Together they laid Mr. Peacock on the long table in front of Dr. Lecter and the Count’s seats.

“Enjoy your stay at the Hotel Cortez,” Jeffery said, nodding.

“I’m sure we will, thank you.” Count Dracula led a round of applause as the chef returned to the kitchen.

This was written for the M.M.H.B Challenge.



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