A Date Killer


“How could anyone be tired of London?” Jean looked at Thomas in disbelief. “The city is ancient and filled with things to do every night!”

Thomas shrugged. They had only been together for a short time and he didn’t want to scare Jean off yet. Immortality was a date killer.

This was written for 50 Word Thursday #13


What Did You Say?

“Avast, ye matey,” Lefty called as Righty came below deck.

“Blow it out your porthole,” Righty grumbled. It had been a long night on watch and he wasn’t in the mood for Lefty’s top-of-morning attitude. “Give me coffee.”

Lefty grinned, revealing his three missing teeth and new gold one he snagged before Captain Flapjack fell overboard. He slapped the wooden table as Righty sat down.

“What’s this?” Righty pointed to the table.

“Your toffee.”

“I didn’t want toffee, you barnacle head. I said coffee!”

Lefty smiled and nodded. “My bad.”

He fiddled around in the galley for a few minutes and came out carrying a bowl.

Righty looked in the bowl and scowled. “Not a bowl of squashy!” He threw the bowl against the wall and took a deep breath. “Fine, you old whale, give me some milk.”

Lefty nodded and left.

As soon as he returned carrying a bolt of silk Righty screamed and pulled his cutlass. “Listen here, you maggoty piece of –“

“What’s all the yelling about,” a deckhand asked.

“Trying to get old cook here to give me a cup of coffee, or milk, or anything to drink!” He slammed his hand against the table and grunted.

“Hey, Lefty, can we get some tea?”

Lefty smiled, and nodded.

“They really need to put people under more scrutiny–“

“MUTINY!” Lefty called pulling on a bell.

Before the deckhand or Righty could say anything, a small group of sailors rushed the galley and grabbed them. Up on deck, they tried to convince their shipmates is was all a misunderstanding and pointed to Lefty.

Lefty walked up to the men and smiled. “I’ll take that pouch, if you don’t mind. My, my, you have a lovely silver tooth there.” He laughed as the men screamed as the crew threw them overboard. “Never call me names,” he said, returning to the galley with his new tooth.